BDSM and Sexually Oriented Definitions

This is by no means intended to be an absolute and definitive glossary... nor is it intended to be used and an absolute answer to any topic. A lot of these definitions are based on my own opinion and experience and I am open to suggestions and the opinions of others. If there is anything you feel I can do to improve this glossary please write to me at MzSxySadist@aol.com. Best wishes SS

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Abrasion - Activities that involve scraping or rubbing the skin to sensitize it to touch

Acupressure- The art of stimulating the self healing and pleasure centers of the body by direct pressure on specific areas. Widely used in India for holistic care, it involves not only manipulation of the muscles but also of the energy flow. Fascinating stuff... can be used to heighten sexual energy and produce more intense or even delay orgasm.

Adolescentilism-Paraohilic- Refers to people who derive sexual pleasure from dressing like a teenager or acting in this role.

Agonophilia- (Pseudo-rape) refers to those who enjoy engaging in pretended struggle before overpowering their sex partner.

Agoraphilia- Refers to arousal from being in public places.

Algophilia- A term used to indicate the use and transformation of pain into a sexually arousing pleasure. An algophile may be involved in SM but it seems the majority are not. According to Kinsey’s report in 1953 about 50% of the people surveyed reported feeling sexually aroused from being bitten during intercourse. The Kama Sutra which is an ancient Indian text on the how to’s of sex, recommends using various forms of nibbling, scratching and other methods of inflicting small amounts of pain to heighten sexual ecstasy.
On the more extreme side, there are numerous accounts of tribes that use fire walking, scarification, piercing and other strange often painful rituals for various purposes, but most commonly they involve some sort of rite of passage or test of stamina. Incredible almost super human accounts of endurance of pain and strength have been recorded and the evidence of the pain induced trances and euphoria has been be witnessed. (See also Masochism and Sub space)

Anal Sex- The male prostrate, just like it's female equivalent G-spot can have an orgasmic response to pressure and/or manipulation. The prostrate is located about two inches up the front wall of the rectum and is shaped like an almond or small firm disc. Many males are embarrassed or reluctant to discuss their fascination or desire to try bi-sexual sex or dildo training. Another term relates to anal penetration is fisting which is the act of inserting a hand, fist or forearm into the vagina or rectum. Of course any play in this area should be done careful and slowly and well lubricated. There are also several terms related to oral sex in the anal area which include the common term rimming and the lesser known anolinctus and anolingus. Anolinctus refers to the act of licking the anus and anolingus is used for when the tongue is actually inserted into the anus. All of which are considered unsafe sex practices with out use of a dental damn or plastic barrier due to the possibility of the spread of diseases such as AIDS and hepatitis. Also there are parasites that reside in the intestinal tract that can be harmful if ingested and allowed to relocate in the respiratory system.

Aphrodisiacs- Substances that increase or enhance sexual desire and stamina. Many of the drugs and other products that had attained popular status such as Spanish Fly and Cocaine have been found to be quite dangerous and even lethal if used incorrectly.

Autoerotic Asphyxia- This term refers to self induced restricted breathing or strangulation especially during masturbation. This is an extremely dangerous practice that claims the lives of 250 to 1000 men a year. (See also Breath Play)

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B&D- Bondage and discipline- activities which revolve around or involve making the submissive physically helpless and applying stimuli that would be considered painful outside of a scene.

BDSM- Bondage and Discipline/Domination and Submission/ Sado-Masochism

Bindings- A bondage activity that restricts movement but is generally used on particular body parts or areas, such as the breasts and genitals but can also be used in reference to mummification. Ropes wrapped tightly around the breasts and genitals can increase sensitivity for the first few minutes but if applied very tightly numbness will follow and the bindings should be released or repositioned to allow blood flow to return to the bound areas. (See also Mummification.)

Bisexual- able to respond to sexually and enjoy a member of either sex

Blood sports- a group of activities such as cutting, piercing, extreme abrasion etc.  that leads to the skin of the submissive being broken. Although not considered to be safe practices in most circles, precautions can be taken that minimize risks of infection either to the submissive in the affected area or to anyone else involved in the scene from blood borne viruses. Such precautions naturally include the use of sterile instruments, gloves and thoroughly cleaning and sterilizing the area to be cut or pierced. Care must be taken in the practice of cuttings and piercings that no nerve damage results.

Bondage- A group of techniques used to immobilize or restrict movement of the submissive. It may be physical or symbolic, and range from a simple silk scarf used to playfully bind wrists to a headboard, to restricting the limbs completely or even being ordered to hold  still during a session no matter what else is done. Bondage is used for a wide variety of effects and purposes. It is a very effective tool for leading someone into greater depths of submission or for overcoming psychological barriers that sometimes prevent a person from fully being able to enjoy certain activities if s/he were not "bound and forced." Some people like to struggle against their bounds and some just enjoy the feeling of helplessness that it can create.  It also serves as simple support, it is much easier to relax and enjoy the sensations that are being created if you do not have to concentrate on staying on your feet. Many materials may be used such as; ropes, ties, manacles, cuffs of leather or metal, even plastic wrap. Decorative rope bondage such as rope dresses may or may not restrict movement. Caution should be taken to insure that blood circulation is not restricted for long periods of time and that the bondage will not tighten to unbearable or dangerous extremes if the submissive struggles. It is advisable to never leave a bound person alone.

Bottom- the partner taking the submissive role. It's use is becoming more popular today as not all "bottoms" are submissive or masochistic and the neutral term can be used in either case.

Branding- A form of body modification that leaves permanent raised markings on the skin. Usually a piece of metal is heated and quickly and   pressed into the recipient's skin in a pattern or design, often to show ownership.

Breath Play- Activities that involve the use of devices, ropes or handholds to apply temporary pressure to the throat and or neck area in an attempt to restrict breathing or blood flow to induce an incredibly intense state of euphoria in the submissive brought on by oxygen deprivation. It is known that asphyxiation creates excitement and eventual euphoria because of the adrenaline released when the body perceives a life threatening situation and lack of oxygen to the brain leads to light headedness.  Yes, this is very scary and dangerous stuff and many say there is no safe way to do any of these activities. I have personally polled several scene friendly Drs. and gotten various mixed reactions, that I intend to post on a web page eventually. Most of the concerns that were mentioned had to do with the possibility of a stroke or embolism due to applying too much pressure on the arteries or dislodging bloodclots residing in that area. I was also informed that the police use a procedure called a “sleeper hold” with a similar effect to incapacitate unruly suspects. Of course I may be guilty of picking and choosing answers that I wanted to hear but it seems that the risk is much less in a person of relatively good health and young age. I have not suffered any ill effects after several years of enjoying it’s effects, call me crazy but it is still one of my personal favorites and have no intention of ceasing it use. Even so, I strongly suggest you NEVER practice this alone and only ever with someone that has a great deal of experience in this area.

Butt plug- a piece of rubber or similar material designed for insertion into the anus. These devices usually have a flared base which distends the sphincter muscles and prevents it from sliding all the way up into the rectum. A pleasure for some, a punishment for others, it is also used as a training device preliminary to anal intercourse

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Caning- a fairly severe form of corporal play in which the implement of choice is a cane or flexible rod made of materials ranging from bamboo to fiberglass to metal

Castration- is the removal of the testicles, scrotum, penis, ovaries or clitoris.

Catheters- A hollow tube inserted into the urethra and as far as the bladder t o allow urine to pass through.. Potentially very dangerous play and considered invasive, it is very important to use nothing but sterile equipment and should be done only by qualified medical personnel or under supervision of such.

CBT- cock and ball torture (See genital torture)

CD /Cross Dresser- a person who adopts the dress, and often the behavior, of the opposite sex

Chastity Devices- A device that is generally worm around the waist to prevent a person from having intercourse. Originally designed for women but male versions have become available.

Collaring- the manner in which a dominant identifies a submissive as his property. This could be anything from a removable item such as a bracelet or a leather collar to a more permanent markings such as piercings, tattoos or brands. It is the ultimate form of commitment in a D/s relationship.

Coprolagnia- erotic stimulus derived from witnessing the act of defecation

Coprophilia- erotic stimulus derived from viewing or being covered with human feces (also known as brown showers, scat) Not generally considered safe play.

Corporal- A wide range of activities usually involving striking the skin of the submissive with either the hand or various instruments.

Cropping- corporal play where the implement of choice is a crop, a long, study handle that holds a flexible, narrow shaft usually covered with a leather tip

Cunnilingus- genital kissing, sucking and licking (oral sex) performed on a female

Cupping- The use of suction cups or devices on the skin to increase sensitivity by drawing the blood closer to the skin's surface. This can be accomplished with glass cups by heating them in water or by using an alcohol damped cotton ball to heat the inside of the glass before applying to the skin, the resulting vacuum pulls the skin into the cup if there is a seal between the flesh and the glass. Caution must of course be used so as not to burn the skin. There are also commercial products available that use vacuum pumps to achieve a similar effect.

Cutting- A practice in which incisions are carefully made in the skin of the submissive. The goal may be to produce a decorative pattern in the skin once it heals and if scar tissue forms. Some view it as a ritualistic almost religious experience and an ultimate sign of trust on the part of the submissive to allow the Dom/me to place his mark on them permanently.

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Dacryphilia- Refers to people that aroused by seeing tears in the eyes of their partners

Dildo play/ training- The use of strap-ons, dildoes or other phallic objects for anal or vaginal penetration and stimulation. Training usually begins with fingers or very small dildoes and gradually increase in size over time or successive sessions. (See also Anal play)

Discipline- May involve either psychological stimuli in which the Dom/me compels the submissive to act or perform in a particular way (including deference, obedience, humiliation play, and service to the dominant) or physical stimuli given to the sub that can range from mild to severe(spanking, paddling, whipping, caning, waxing, etc.)

Dom- a male dominant

Dominant- An individual that accepts the power given by the submissive and uses it for the purposes of mutual enjoyment and pleasure. Generally the one actively controlling the scene.

Domme- a female dominant -- also know as a Dominatrix, Mistress or Domina

Dom/me- Dom or Domme

D/s- Domination and submission

Dungeon Master- a person who is designated to maintain decorum and watch out for the safety of participants in scenes at a private play party or a public D/s club

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Edge play- Activities that are generally viewed as inherently dangerous by most members of the Ds community: i.e. blood sports, and breath play. Of course what is considered very dangerous, distasteful or even “sick” by some people is many times what another individual craves and enjoys most. It is up to each the individual to decide what is right for them to experiment with and how heavily but common sense still should be used and adequate safety procedures followed or taken. In an ideal world, members of an already maligned community such as ours would be inclined to try and be more tolerant of each others preferences rather than shunning those with tastes that differ slightly from our own. After all don’t we all get enough of that from the vanilla people who don’t understand us? (OK I will get off the soapbox now)

Enema- to inject liquid into the intestine by way of the anus, usually soapy or plain water, enemas cause cramping and force the evacuation of the bowels. Some find them a source of erotic stimulation, enemas are also used for punishment and/or humiliation.

Erotic- something which tends to arouse sexual desire

Exhibitionist- a person who enjoys showing his/her genitals to others or other embarrassing public scenes.

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Fellatio- genital kissing, sucking and licking (oral sex) performed on a male

Fetish- An object that replaces another human being as the primary love object. There are almost as many different types of fetishes as there are people, but the most common fetishes involve body parts (foot, leg, breast) or clothing items (shoes, boots, panties, latex, rubber, leather) etc.  The term has become synonymous with the leather community in many circles.

Fisting- a sexual act where the dominant slowly works first fingers and then hand into either the anus or vagina of the submissive

Flagellation- the act of whipping or flogging

Flail- an whipping implement consisting of long thin straps on a handle or the act of using it

Flogging- Corporal play using multi stranded, usually soft to moderately coarse whips on a submissive

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Gags- Used to prevent a person from speaking, or making other sounds. Gags come in many forms such as adhesive tape, scarves, ball gags, bars, bridles, dildoes or the even the bottoms panties. (My personal fave)   They can have a very psychologically powerful effect but caution must be taken not to interfere with breathing. Also if safe words are in use remember to set a safe signal instead.

Genital torture- includes such things as the use of bondage, clamps, compression devices, attaching weights to cause distention and discomfort, and whipping the genitals

Genny- born a woman, as opposed to a transvestite or transsexual

Golden showers- An activity considered to be humiliation by most that involves the dominant urinating on the submissive. Many male submissives crave this as a reward from their Mistress’ and may even desire to drink the fluid. Generally not considered to be a safe practice due to the danger of passing disease. (See also Toilet play, Scat)

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Humiliation- to lower the pride or dignity of someone, in the D/s sense, the dominant accentuates the submissive's feeling of defenselessness and exposure while avoiding making the submissive feel any less worthwhile as a human being

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Impalement- a penetration of the body that to those who restricts the ability to move. The most common form used in SM play involves passing needles through flesh (usually the genitalia) into an object or board generally called a "butterfly" board. Another form of impalement utilizes a dildo nailed or fastened to a floor or chair then binding a submissive in place with it penetrating the vagina or rectum.

Infantilsm- refers to people who enjoy role playing child and infant scenarios.

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Klismaphilia- the eroticization of enemas, whether giving or receiving

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Lacing- is sometimes used in conjunction with piercings for decorative effect or bondage. Once the needles are in place, string is wrapped either from needle to needle or tied to an immobile object. Lacing can be done on almost any part of the body but it especially attractive across the breasts.

Leather sex- generally refers to the gay D/s subculture

Limits- boundaries established by a dominant and his/her submissive, some limits are meant to be exceeded over time by the dominant, some are established as absolute boundaries that are never to be surpassed. D/s couples tend to find that limits decrease as the level of trust in the relationship increases

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Masochism / masochist- The ability to derive excitement or pleasure from physical pain, named for the author Leopold von Sacher-Masoch.

Master- A male dominant with a higher gradient of control than a Dom; a Master generally has a slave as opposed to a submissive

Mentor- A trusted counselor or guide; in the D/s community a mentor is generally a Dom/me who is training someone else to be a Dom/me

Mistress- A female dominant

Mummification- Restrictive bondage technique that entails wrapping the entire body. The most common materials used for mummification bondage are plastic wrap, damp sheets, elastic bandages and duct tape. Remember that a person is unstable on their feet if bound this way and must be assisted or stabilized if kept in an upright position. The mummified person must also be monitored carefully as the bondage materials will cause the body to perspire a great deal and there is a chance of hyper-thermia. Always keep a pair of safety scissors handy for emergency use or for safely removing the bindings.

Munch Group - Generally a group of local people interested in power exchange and BDSM that get together in a public place to meet and socialize. Sometimes just for a meal other times for discussions and demonstrations etc 

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Necrophilia- erotic interest in or stimulation by corpses

Nipple clamps- used for the temporary compression or pinching of this sensitive skin, from clothespins to elaborate adjustable clamps, the key is use only for brief periods of time, to maximize erotic stimulation and minimize the potential for nerve damage - 15 minutes at a time is considered the maximum. Just remember, they hurt more coming off.

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Paddling- spanking with a paddle, just like the one the principal used to have, or perhaps one with holes drilled in it to decrease air resistant and increase the velocity of the blow

Pederast- a person that practices anal intercourse, most often heard in reference to men who pursue anal intercourse with young boys

Pedophile- a person who prefers children as sexual objects

Piercing- inserting needles into the skin sometimes followed by the insertion of a ring or other metal adornment. Very few parts of the body cannot be pierced, but body protrusions are preferable to flat areas for jewelry. Popular sites for erotic piercings include nipples, navels, in males; the glans or frenum of the penis, the foreskin and/or the scrotum, in females, the inner and outer labia, the clitoris, or the clitoral hood. Temporary or play piercings are gaining popularity in SM play despite it's classification as "edge play" and it's inherent dangers due to the possibility of exposure to blood (See Blood sports for safety precautions.)

Play party- social gatherings where D/s play may occur

Power exchange- process whereby the submissive cedes his/her active, autonomous decision-exchange making qualities and bows to the will of the dominant. The exchange could be limited only to the sexual aspects of a relationship all the way up to a 24/7 situation where the exchange carries through to all aspects of the relationship

Punishment- punishments run the gamut from a harsh look or word to forbidding a submissive to achieve climax to spankings, croppings and whippings to enemas, butt plugs, nipple clamps and movement restrictive bondage. Of course, these same things can be used to increase erotic pleasure, the difference being the intensity, duration and whether it is perceived as enjoyable.

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Queening - face sitting of a female on a male for the purpose of oral sex sometimes even forced.

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Role-playing- a means of enabling D/s players to experience the erotic thrill of an extreme fantasy within safe limits, including those fantasies which, if made into reality, would be truly horrifying (for example, a fantasy involving rape or concentration camp type tortures)

RT / Real Time- live and in person as opposed to an on-line or phone relationship

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S&M- Sadism and Masochism- A term often used to describe people and activities that use pain to produce pleasure as an ultimate goal.

Sadism / sadist- Tough one... depends on who you talk to but I will give you my opinion, definition and reasoning. The word comes from the name of the infamous writer Marquis de Sade who according to his writing practiced very non consensual activities involving torturing and often killing his victims for his own sexual satisfaction. Hence the words sadist and sadism conjure up images of cruel and unspeakable tortures inflicted on unwilling often innocent victims. Psychologists have for many years deemed Sadists and masochists as being psychologically dysfunctional, even dangerous to themselves and others. Even some of our respected community members still view this term as distasteful and try to discourage it’s use.
The issue as I see it in defining the word has nothing to do with the motives of the sadist or the consent of the “victim.” All preconceived notions and opinions aside, sadism simply defined is deriving pleasure from inflicting pain. This concept is neither good or evil, right or wrong. What makes such a person good or bad is what he does with it and why. If the motives behind the actions are for mutual satisfaction rather than selfish reasons and if the well being and safety of the masochist are always kept in mind then there is no problem. As the principles of Yin and yang that govern the universe prove; opposites are inevitable, necessary and attract. It stands to reason that an intelligent and self assured masochist needs a loving and imaginative sadist just as a conscientious and responsible sadist needs a responsive masochist to explore with. Isn't life grand?

Safe/sane/consensual- the universally accepted credo and philosophical core of D/s used almost to the point of becoming trite in many circles. Safe: safe sex, consensual protection of vital organs, and no meaningful damage. Sane: any given activity is done for the pleasure of everyone involved and that partners' limits are to be respected. Consensual: clear, informed, and verbalized consent of both partners.

Safeword / signal- A word, phrase or gesture that allows the submissive to let the dominant know that the activities have either approached or surpassed his/her limits and must be ceased, changed or discussed. There may be several words used to either slow, stop or even signal that all is well and please proceed with that activity. A popular method is to have a series of words with "red" meaning stop immediately, "yellow" meaning slow down or stop so we can reconsider this and "blue" meaning watch out, this is an emotionally sensitive area -- in cases where the submissive is bound and gagged, the dominant usually proves another means for the submissive to express distress, such as a scarf to drop or a bell to ring. The safeword does not have to be blatantly obvious to on-lookers and can be a silent or secret communication between play partners. It is strongly suggested that new partners use safe words in the getting to know you stage. As time goes on and experience establishes points of reference, practiced play partners often find the need for safe words becomes unnecessary.

SAM / Smart Ass Masochist- generally a submissive or bottom that enjoys "sassing" a Dom/me into greater punishment

Scarification- making cuts or scars, usually with a knife (See also Cutting)

Scat- Slang term for scatophilia, taking pleasure from playing with and sometimes ingesting feces. Generally like golden showers scat is viewed as humiliation play, but there are many males submissives that crave such activities. Once again not considered safe practice due to health risks. (See also toilet play, Golden showers)

Scene (A)- An individual session of various lengths where the parties involved are in their D/s roles. Example: “I did a scene that involved very heavy corporal play and piercing last night.”

Scene (The)- Overall term used for the people, activities, organized or social aspects of BDSM including support groups, clubs, or other social activities

Sensory deprivation - to increase sexual intensity and/or to punish by temporarily limiting a person's ability to use their five senses (touch, taste, hearing, sight, smell.) This could range from earplugs and blindfolds to elaborate sensory deprivation chambers

Session- an erotic D/s episode, also known as a scene (as opposed to "the Scene' see above)

Sexurophilia- erotic stimulus from viewing, being showered by, or ingesting urine (golden showers)

Shackles- Restraints made of metal strips that surround the ankles, wrists or neck.

Shaven- a submissive who has had his/her public hair shaved off .... Dom/mes often require their submissives to shave their pubic hair either because that is their personal preference (they like the way it looks or don't care for the way pubic hair interferes with some sexual acts) or for humiliation and/or punishment

Slave- Often used interchangeable with sub, but more often to denote a deeper level of submission or commitment. A “slave” may for example live in role as a house servant to his or her dominant and be responsible for all of the cleaning and care of the home. I have heard discussions in chat rooms rage for days about the differences between a sub and a slave with a wide range of opinions. According to the a scary number of AOLers there is a general understanding that a sub may withdraw consent at any time but a slave may not and must do what ever the Master or Mistress says no matter what that may be and thus a slave is somehow a better or a “truer sub” by their degree of commitment. My personal response to that is: Bullshit!! If a human being allows him or herself to be placed in a position of complete subjugation to someone else that is still their choice and since slavery was legally abolished long ago the individual will always have the right to change their mind and refuse to do something they do not wish to do, even if it means ending the relationship with the dominant. As far as a “slave” showing deeper commitment than a “sub” I feel that no one can judge the level of commitment between play partners based on what title they go by or how far they will go to “prove” their devotion to their Master or Mistress. The only ones that can judge that are the individuals themselves based on their feelings for each other and their needs.

Spanking- a form of corporal punishment in which blows are inflicted almost exclusively on the buttocks. Paddling and caning are considered types of spankings

Speculum- A medical device used to dilate the vagina in a pelvic exam commonly used in medical scenes on either sex. Can be a great tool for humiliation scenes.

STD - Sexually Transmitted Disease

Stigmatophilia- the eroticization of tattooing, scarification, branding or piercing

Stocks- Restraint device that is usually made of two hinged boards that had cut outs just large enough to hold the head and wrist in place can also be made to hold the ankles while in a sitting position. Designs have also been made that squeeze the breasts or male genitals in a vise like manner.

Sub / submissive- Someone who gives up his/her power to the dominant for the purpose of mutual enjoyment. This may be on a casual basis such as just for the duration of a scene at a party or in a committed relationship of various depths. (See also Slave)

Sub space- the point in a D/s session when a certain level of pain causes the endorphins to kick in bringing the submissive to a state of euphoria which can be both physical and spiritual. According to "Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices" by Brenda Love published by Barricade Books the way this works goes as follows, "The registration of pain is caused by the release of chemicals such as bradykinin, substance P, and prostaglandins and can be divided into two types, somatic and visceral. Somatic pain occurs most often in the muscles or skin. This pain is relatively mild compared to visceral pain which radiates from internal organs, causing nausea and weakness. The testes are part of the visceral system and injury to the testicles is traumatic.
    We detect somatic pain by stimulation of the free nerve endings that lie near the surface of the skin. Once activated they transmit a signal to the brain, however, this is not a guarantee that the sensation will be perceived as painful. The message may be thwarted in several ways. First, certain nerves, the ones that transmit the sensation of deep pressure, vibration, heat and cold, can override pain signals. this is why cold compresses, heating pads, and chemicals seem to help reduce discomfort. Second, a person's mood affects this process and if he is anxious the pain will be sharper, whereas if he is sexually aroused, feels safe, in control, and submits to the partner, the sensation may even seem pleasant. In a
study conducted by Drs., Miczek, Thompson, and Shuster it was discovered that in mice it was not the amount or length of painful stimulus that triggered the analgesic response but rather the mouse's resignation to defeat ("Analgesia Following Defeat in an Aggressive Encounter: Development of Tolerance and Changes in Opioid Receptors," Annals of the NY Academy of Sciences, Stress-Induced Analgesia, Vol. 467, p.16) Extroverts are thought to require stronger tactile and mental stimulation than introverts and will not register pain as quickly. Once pain has been registered the body will try to adapt in various ways. Steady pain require rapid firing by our nervous system and the body's tendency is to adapt to constant stimulus by slowing this process, meaning that the intensity of pain dissipates accordingly. Once pain has been registered for 20 - 40 mins the body will begin to produce opiate-like chemicals to reduce pain sensations."

Suspension- Activities and techniques that involve hanging the submissive from ropes, chains etc. so that no part of their body has contact with the floor. Great care must be taken so that no harm comes to the submissive.

Switch- Someone who enjoys both the dominant and submissive roles associated with BDSM. A switch may be dominant and submissive with different partners or even with the same partner at different times.

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Top- A dominant

Topping from the bottom- when the submissive is directing the action in a D/s session instead of the dominant

Toys- euphemism for items such as dildoes, butt plugs, nipple clamps, paddles, crops, whips, canes, etc.

TS /transsexual - a person genetically of one sex with a psychological urge to belong to the opposite sex, some believe they were born the wrong sex and have surgery to correct the mistake

TV /transvestite- a person to adopts the dress, and often the behavior, of the opposite

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Vanilla- Any activity or person not involved or related to The Scene. Generally refers to conventional sex as opposed to somewhat spicier activities.

Violet wand- static electricity generator, providing a sensation akin to a vibrating pinprick

Voyeur- a person who prefers sex as a non-participatory, spectator sport

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Water sports- erotic interests in elimination, either artificially induced, as with enemas or catheterization, or occurring naturally

Waxing- the dripping of hot wax onto the body to achieve erotic pain

Whipping- the striking of flesh, usually but not exclusively on the back, with a whip, flail, or other stinging device

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